Fieldnote: The Voice of the Void

Neutralizing Narcissism — Open Source Justice Initiative

Some people write in riddles because their truth is too heavy to face. Some people write in masks because their face cannot hold a gaze.

When a child grows up without safety, two paths open: One is the long road of building a self out of brokenness. The other is the short road of building masks out of brokenness.

The first path creates. The second path consumes.

The first learns to speak plainly. The second learns to speak in fog.

When the void writes, it never writes “I.” It writes “we,” “he,” “the witness,” “the interpreter.” It writes about rooms and shelves and objects instead of feelings. It encodes, hides, withholds intention. It makes itself unreadable because, inside, there is nothing to read.

But the void’s secret is simple: It longs to be named. It longs for a real self. It cannot stop producing text, because silence would reveal emptiness.

This is how you can tell a creator from a predator: The creator uses language to build a world. The predator uses language to bait a world.

If you are reading this and feel the tremor of recognition — if you sense that the masks you’ve built are becoming heavier than your body — know this: The masks are not you. But until you stop wearing them, you will never have a self.